This was copied in part from TIMELINEZ who downloaded it from TECH ECHO. This is on the Owego Free Academy’s BBS. Msg # 8091 and under file NukesRus.
For Sale-IBM XT or PS/2 power back up supply
Single board Nuclear Reactor supplies backup power for 12 years. Available in a full length plug in card for the above machines. When card sensors detect a power failure the explosive charges (bolts) eject the moderator and control rods from the reactor core. Within 20 mmsecs the reactor is up to its fully rated power standard of 20Kw. Internal fans dissipate up to 500 cuft of air per sec while in the stand by position. A standard desk size water cooling system allowes you to swap cores should you ever need to. A optional circular viewing port of lead glass lets you view the internal assembly. Also functions as a 10 million candlepower nitelite.
Consider the optional 1000 foot extension cord for protection from undue radiation.
Although not required by law, a 23 volume, 5000 page site evacution plan has been prewriten, to serve all customers.
Prices start at $12million (US) cash, certified check or postal money order. Price doesnt reflect cost overruns. Please allow 6 years for delivery. Write:
Nukes R Us
POB U235
Los Alamos, NM 43210
From “Nukes R Us”
SUBJECT: Stand by power supply for the IBM PC XT or PS/2.
CORRECTIONS TO OFA BBS MESSAGE AS FOLLOWS:
1- Price as of 9/2/88 is 13.75 million dollars (US). Basic QBX-1 power card.
1a- Many inquiries received on why we only make QBX-1 cards for the IBM PC XT and the PS/2. We do not trust the manufactoring standards of third world countries with the possible exception of Pakistan. We have found the RFI from clones to far exceed our own standards. Research of megadoses of RFI on mice lends some credence to the belief that RFI can mutate the genes. And the Apple tends to overcook with the 15Kw power supply.
1b- Plans are available for a small fee, for installing water cooling towers in your back yard. It is suggested that you get any zoning variations need during the summer months when your neighbors may be on vacation.
2- An optional circular viewing port (CVP/a) does NOT aid in the core replacement. Two side latches on each side of the reactor let you quickly swap the radioactive core should you need to replace it. Radition exposure will hardly exceed the dose received during a dental x-ray. Make that 5,800 x-rays. Perhaps consider HERO-1 robot from HeathKit for doing your refueling chores.
3- If your computer cannot supply the 400 cu ft per second of forced air for cooling, consider buying the manufactor’s heavy water cooling jacket, and stainless steel pump. Both will fit under a desk or work bench. See Note #1b for cooling unit.
4- Not mentioned was the radiation protection kit, which includes a shielding kit comprised of five (5) self-sticking lead plates and 20 radiation monitoring film badges. The lead plates mount to the inside of your computer enclosure, insuring the reduction of harmful gamma rays, which cause soft errors to floppy discs, and RAM data. And as a protective measure we have included a red and yellow flashing strobe lite which you mount on top of your monitor. Below a sign reads “A melt down condition is possible when the lights began to flash, please remove yourself from the immediate area. When the lights stop flashing you have approximately 10 seconds to evacauate”
5- New and included with each board is the operators seat. Built by Viking and Vandal Furniture of Denmark, the seat is guaranteed for the life of the twenty foot rubber band. Be sure and mark the order blank, CATAPULT 1/VV. Please verify operators station does NOT have a concrete ceiling.
6- As an option you may want to consider a hi-tech operator seat, called EJECTOR F15, guaranteed to operate as long as the explosive charges are kept dry. As part of the emergency evacuation proceedure, please ensure the operator’s station has soft wood ceilings. The additional cost is only $1.02 million (US).
7-And last, the following was left off the first message. Because the card can supply more than enough power for the standard computing station, even with a printer and hard disk, you can sell the excess power to your utility company, as provided by law. An add-on phasing and metering kit, (PMK-1) lets you connect your reactor to the local power grid. Each PMK-1 kit includes standard power sale contracts and Rural Electrification Board rules and regluatiosn. (It is difficult to see the keyboard with the stupid red/yellow lights flashing in my eyes)In addition to the evacuation plan, forms are included to allow you register the name and address of your reactor site with the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC). As an option, the seller supplies the plan on MS-DOS compatible diskettes, in Wordstar format. User-friendly templates let you type in the data allowing your word processor to create a complete printed document.
For a recorded message call Nukes ‘R Us, 1-235-872-6483 or dial 1-235-URANITE, (I can see better now that blinkin’ lite finally went oo..____