Fred must have been caught in a Chinook when he thought up these Daffynitions:
PEEK (2) – what happens to your interest when costs GOSUB-normal. (It FLAGs when they GO TO NEW PEEKs).
CODE – a bacteriud infecshud causigg a stuffy dose.
ZX – what Maurice Chevalier would call a former spouse.
NEXT X – what Mickey Rooney says when signing alimony checks. (Is this also the origin of SIGNUM? – ed.)
RND – Research and Development
CHIP – what it’s ok to be off the old BLOCK, but not ok to have on your shoulder.
BAUD – slang for curvaceous females (as, “What a baud!”)
(ed. note: is this what Shakespeare had in mind when he used the term to mean a woman of easy virtue?)
BAUD RATE – number of sunbathers you pass per minute while cruising the beach.
PARITY – a satirical play or novel. Also, a daffynition. (Ed. note: this year, the two major parities come with elephants and donkeys.)
STOP BIT – placed in a horse’s mouth to make him STOP RUNning. (Does not work with elephants and donkeys and their representatives–there is nothing that will STOP them until November-ed.)
I/O (1) – what the Lone Ranger tells Silver
I/O (2) – What the 7 dwarfs (and commuters with a mortgage) say on the way to work.
BINARY – a factory that wottles bine.
PORT (1) – one of the BINARY’s products.
CARRIAGE RETURN – taking back the rented buggy after the PROM.
PAUSE 4E4 – LINE’s club slogan.
FOR (2) – pertaining to the LINE’s front PAUSE.
TO – number of FOR PAUSE per LINE.
FOR (3) – golfer’s shout after a HARD DRIVE.
DISK DRIVE – golfer hitting a circular divot instead of the ball.
PC BOARD – tired of IBM’s. (In Boston, this is pronounced PC BAUD-ed.)
MOS – grows on the north side of trees.
CMOS – grows on the north side of submerged trees.
LIST – to lean, as a boat after getting snagged in CMOS.
PORT (2) – one of the TO possible directions to LIST.
PORT (3) – where LISTing ships head for.
RESISTOR – what every good sailor does on meeting a siren with a good BAUD.
MEMORY BLOCK – er . . . I can’t remember.
BLOCK MARKER – a street SINE.
LET – rent, as in “TO LET”.
POKE (2) – (usually with “along”) to move SLOWly.
POKE (3) – what you do to make a SLOW POKE move FASTer.
ON ERR – where you’re walking when your head is in the clouds.